Timing


What a long trip it’s been!  Next week I’ll be finishing up my fourth unit of CPE – fourth consecutive unit I might add.  I’ve been spending my Tuesdays in CPE, getting up at 5:30am or worse, since last fall.  I said today that I felt like I was in a marathon with the end finally in sight.  The start was full of excitement but a lot of trips until I caught my pace.  Then I ran steady for a long time.  Then, this term, I hit my wall.  Now I feel like the “runner’s high” has kicked in as I finally realize the end is really in sight.

I am looking harder at not trying so hard.  I tend to feel that so much depends on me in order to keep up my own standards.  I’ve seen though that my own standards still can be unnecessarily high.  I felt very alone a few weeks ago, because I just couldn’t keep up with my own expectations and wanted someone to rescue me.  I was a fairly miserable person.  I realized that my priorities were so messed up – the things that I saw as important were really distracting me from the things that were important: my kids, my wife, personal time and so on.

I feel freer and happier.  How often are we our own worst enemies!

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