Last time I wrote about how caregivers, including Chaplains, can neglect themselves in caregiving relationships. This happens when Chaplains, clergy and others who are providing care to another don’t recognize or reject their own power and authority, and also when caregivers don’t recognize their own needs and therefore neglect themselves. Continue reading
chaplaincy
Problems in Caregiving Relationships: Neglect of the Caregiver or Chaplain
***update 9/15/17: I received a link to an excellent, comprehensive article by Rachelle Slotman on identifying and coping with burnout. The link is here and I have also posted the full article here. Thanks to John Hawthorne for the link!***
I wrote previously about what I call the Therapeutic Triad, describing how any counseling or caregiving relationship includes three elements: myself, the other and God.
What I’ve experienced in my years of counseling and chaplaincy is that often the relationships between these three can be problematic and can malfunction. Where ideally the relationships between the three elements should flow freely in both directions, it seems that problems arise when these relationships only flow in one direction or when one of the three elements is neglected. This neglect can impact the counselor’s effectiveness and also create stress, tension and helplessness in both the counselor and the counselee. Continue reading
A Brief Theology of Care in Practice: The Therapeutic Triad
Counseling and care have typically been seen as a dyad consisting of the counselor and the counselee. However this limits the scope of the relationship as it often fails to recognize the presence of a third other, which is God. Counseling done within the context of chaplaincy, as well as any other form of Christian or spiritual counseling, whether professional or not, is better thought of as occurring within a triad, recognizing the presence not only of myself and the other, but also of God.
Continue readingChaplaincy and Evangelism: Is “Sharing the Gospel” the Same as Proselytizing?
So in reading a few other blogs yesterday looking for other comments and thoughts on faith and chaplaincy I came across the following clip.
I found this clip interesting on many levels and got in to a discussion with the blog poster who brought it up as an example of how postmodern Christians, especially mainline chaplains, seem unable or unwilling to present the Gospel to those who need it. But I found this clip very interesting regarding the skills a chaplain needs as well as whether or not it is considered proselytizing for a professional chaplain to share the Gospel. Continue reading
Life Review and Meaning-Making in Hospice Care
**update 9/5/17** Meredith Rogers passed along an excellent resource on depression she wrote on GeriatricNursing.com. I’ve linked it here – it’s well worth your time and is a good summary of types of depression and various treatments.
This article came through my LinkedIn inbox recently and I wanted to pass it along. While it refers to “Dignity Therapy” as a new tool it certainly seems as if many of the tools discussed are open to us already. Good reading after the jump:
“Do your worst!”
I came across this excellent post regarding CPE verbatims that I wanted to link to. In it, Allison Kestenbaum writes about how she asks students to present their “worst work”, that is the cases in which they have been stumped, messed up, or feel that they otherwise didn’t do their best. This goes against the grain for many of us especially in areas where we feel that we are being held up to critique. However Kestenbaum shows us that the real growth happens in the margins and troublesome areas of our lives.
“Vebatims also teach seminary students to develop more balanced assessments of their strengths and weaknesses. I have encountered many seminary students who are achievement-junkies who seek to master every academic task put before them. One of my students, an experienced Lutheran pastor and D.Min. candidate, told me that, “I am taking a leap of faith with writing verbatims about encounters I feel least secure about. This is a completely new pursuit for me; I have not encountered this directive anywhere in my schooling so far.”
A rabbinical CPE student who was required to do CPE with no intention of becoming a chaplain told me that verbatims “have helped me not be so scared of my mistakes” and to learn from them. For those going into a ministerial—really any—profession, the ability to have a nuanced perception of one’s strengths and weaknesses can help prevent burnout.”
I highly recommend that students and supervisors review the article as I think it’s insightful for all.
And I know that I’m not the only one who’s hyperactive mind went right to this scene after reading the title:
10 (+1) Tips For a Good CPE Verbatim
I’ve posted a few of my past verbatims as examples of how they can be written, but each CPE program likely has its own format, things to include and so on. So please don’t use my examples as the standard for how they should be written in every case, as your supervisor likely has a particular format he or she wants to use. Many supervisors don’t even recommend a particular format, only elements that need to be included. Each member of my CPE group wrote differently, and we all tended to borrow from each others’ styles to find something that we all liked (including our supervisor!).
I thought it would be helpful to give what I think are some helpful hints and things to remember when writing any verbatim. Formats are pretty unique, but every good verbatim has some common elements. Continue reading
Love Does Strange Things, or How I Got a Cup of Cremated Remains From Pittsburgh, PA to Newfoundland, Canada
The following is an essay I wrote for a friend of mine, Shane Blackshear, who hosts the podcast Seminary Dropout. I highly encourage you to check out his page and podcast. Oh – and upgrade your book budget as the authors and speakers he interviews will undoubtedly make you want to fill your shelves with their insights.
view of Fox Island, Newfoundland, Canada
As anyone who is – or has been – on love will tell you, love isn’t just an emotion you feel for someone else. It sometimes captures you to the point where you will do just about anything for that person. It’s not always romance that produces this feeling, but it’s instead the kind of love that comes from losing yourself, which is what true love is and does. Sometimes it looks like spending hours crafting a poem or writing a song for that person. In this case it looked like smuggling a dead man’s ashes across international boundaries on a passenger jet. Continue reading
Too Close to Home: Hospice workers and personal loss
Within the past 6 months two of the nurses I work with lost their mothers. In both of these cases, they chose to have their mothers on our hospice.
This is a very hard thing to do. It was awkward for a while for all of us at team especially to be referring to and discussing someone in a very clinical manner, yet knowing that this was a team member’s mother. Yet it was also a good reminder for all of us that all of our patients are someone’s mother, father, brother, sister, or even child.
The awkwardness goes away after a brief time. However when that loss finally happens it can be devastating, not only to the family member but to the whole team. Continue reading
Verbatim: Being good to the person in the mirror
At my recent CPSP meeting I presented this verbatim and got some new insights from the group. I’m going to shorten it a bit just to make it easier to read.
This happened quite some time ago and when my colleagues asked why I brought it up I responded that it deals with things that I still deal with today: self-care, tiredness, and burnout.
The patient in this visit, Mrs. S, is 67 years old and has been on hospice now for a few months. She has a history of alcoholism and is on hospice for chronic pain and malnutrition. She is extremely thin and emaciated even though she eats fairly well. She smokes regularly 3-4 times a day. She is a widow and has children but they are not involved with her and she does not want them contacted. Mrs. S is Roman Catholic but has not attended church in some time. She maintains her own prayer practices and she says that she finds these comforting. She almost always presents herself as happy and content unless she is in pain, and even then she tends to minimize her pain. Her pain is regularly 8 out of 10. She is very friendly but not always open regarding her own feelings, family and past. She tends to use humor to divert attention and make light of her situation. She is frequently in bed as this is most comfortable for her. Continue reading
The Chaplain's Report 