Christianity

“What do these stones mean to you?” Reflections on Joshua 4

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The following is from a remembrance service I did at a facility some years ago. At the end of the service we passed out stones to the families and staff in attendance. I hope you enjoy it.

…Joshua said to them: “Cross over before the ark of the LORD your God into the midst of the Jordan, and each one of you take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, that this may be a sign among you when your children ask in time to come, saying, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’ Then you shall answer them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD; when it crossed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. And these stones shall be for a memorial to the children of Israel forever.” Continue reading →

David Mills: Death Dignified by Christ

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I’ve been trying to write a post about the “death with dignity” movement, but found it very difficult to write something that didn’t turn into a book.

While there has been a great deal of discussion about the rightness or wrongness of physician-assisted suicide and euthanasia, I’ve found less discussion about what “dignity” means in this context. I found this post by David Mills and wanted to share them in regards to what it might mean for a Christian to die with dignity. The biggest takeaway may be that while one side sees neediness, exposure and helplessness as antithetical to human dignity, Mills sees these at the very heart of Jesus’ own death. His attitude towards the indignities placed upon Him actually made His death more dignified. It’s a lesson we can take away as we seek to conform to Christ.

He was a dignified man suffering all the embarrassing ways cheerful young women the age of his granddaughter deal with the body’s failure as cancer begins shutting down the organs. Dying in a hospice, you lose all rights to modesty as you lose control of your body.
Continue reading →

Ten Signs a Chaplain is Becoming a Pastor

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Church growth consultant Thom Rainer recently wrote about the ten “warning signs” that a Pastor might be becoming a Chaplain. This drew a lot of attention among professional Chaplains as well as Pastors. Reading the post made me realize that it’s just as important to recognize the warning signs that your Chaplain might be heading down the slippery slope of becoming a – gulp – Pastor.

Here are ten (okay, seven) warning signs to look out for. Supervisors, take heed! (And please read on afterward – warning: sarcasm ahead) Continue reading →

The Chaplain and Mental Illness: When religion makes healing “sinful”

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The issue of how Christians deal with mental illness has been on my mind as of late. One reason is that I’ve been going through my own therapy for anxiety and depression, which rears its head from time to time in my life. Second is that I came across a LinkedIn discussion in a pastor’s network group that had some pretty ugly things to say about mental illness and psychotherapy.

Writer and musician Shaun Groves recently posted his own reflections on depression and faith on his blog, and while I can’t repost the whole article, I would certainly recommend it to you (here’s the link). He had written about his father-in-law’s death as a result of suicide and while many offered their sincere condolences some of the responses were a bit shocking. One wrote, “Did he not believe the words from scripture he read to his church?”. Another wrote, “The Bible tells us not to worry, not to fear, be afraid, etc. 366 times, one for every day of the year including leap year! What can stinkin thinkin do, but make a person sick?”. Continue reading →

Balancing grace and growth in the ministry of the church

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I came across an interesting discussion on LinkedIn regarding the state of the American church, namely that the “seeker” model has failed to create real disciples and failed to make an impact in our culture. “Felt needs” (always a poorly defined term) have replaced authentic discipleship, and the church and culture are sick because of it.

There is a pretty fair divide between those who see the role of pastor or church (not “the body of Christ” Church, but local body “church”) as to evangelize and bring people into the body of Christ (the Church), and those who see the main role of the pastor/church as teacher or pedagogue.

The first will use any means necessary to get people through the doors because it sees salvation as the end result. People come to church, hear the gospel, and get saved. If it takes a light show and Starbucks in the lobby to get them in, so be it. I worked at one of these churches for a time and saw the good and bad of it. They were great at getting people in the door, but it didn’t know what to do with them afterward. Growth was secondary. It was part of the program, but was not a primary driver. The church grew and became very influential, and still is. But the leadership had difficulty seeing themselves as something other than a youth group for adults (thankfully I can say that has changed). Continue reading →

Problems in Caregiving Relationships: Neglect of God

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We’ve seen how neglect can happen in caregiving relationships between the Chaplain and the person being cared for. For example the caregiver can neglect the other in the relationship by taking away their power and authority regarding healing, and the caregiver may neglect their own needs as well. These problems often show themselves in co-dependency, overcompensating and undercompensating, burnout and meaninglessness.

Now to the third member of the therapeutic relationship, God. It’s interesting to note that we tend to relate to God similarly to how we relate to others, yet God does not relate to us in the way others do. Perhaps this is why our relationship to God can be so puzzling and frustrating at times! Continue reading →

Problems in Caregiving Relationships: Neglect of the Other

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Last time I wrote about how caregivers, including Chaplains, can neglect themselves in caregiving relationships. This happens when Chaplains, clergy and others who are providing care to another don’t recognize or reject their own power and authority, and also when caregivers don’t recognize their own needs and therefore neglect themselves. Continue reading →

Problems in Caregiving Relationships: Neglect of the Caregiver or Chaplain

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***update 9/15/17: I received a link to an excellent, comprehensive article by Rachelle Slotman on identifying and coping with burnout. The link is here and I have also posted the full article here. Thanks to John Hawthorne for the link!***

 

I wrote previously about what I call the Therapeutic Triad, describing how any counseling or caregiving relationship includes three elements: myself, the other and God.

What I’ve experienced in my years of counseling and chaplaincy is that often the relationships between these three can be problematic and can malfunction. Where ideally the relationships between the three elements should flow freely in both directions, it seems that problems arise when these relationships only flow in one direction or when one of the three elements is neglected. This neglect can impact the counselor’s effectiveness and also create stress, tension and helplessness in both the counselor and the counselee. Continue reading →

A Brief Theology of Care in Practice: The Therapeutic Triad

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Counseling and care have typically been seen as a dyad consisting of the counselor and the counselee. However this limits the scope of the relationship as it often fails to recognize the presence of a third other, which is God. Counseling done within the context of chaplaincy, as well as any other form of Christian or spiritual counseling, whether professional or not, is better thought of as occurring within a triad, recognizing the presence not only of myself and the other, but also of God.

Continue reading →

Peter Rollins on Seminary Dropout

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I just wanted to give a shoutout to one of my favorite podcasts, Seminary Dropout. The host, Shane Blackshear, interviews some real movers and shakers in the Christian literary and cultural worlds, as well as people you probably never heard of. I’ve been listening for years, and Shane is one of the best interviewers I’ve heard.

Peter Rollins, author of “The Divine Magician”

He recently interviewed author Peter Rollins and I thought it was so good I wanted to highlight and link to it. You can go to the show’s episode page here, subscribe in iTunes or your podgrabber of choice, or click the link below to listen right away. You can even enter contests for books here and there. And he’s not famous, so he will actually interact with you if you hit him up on Twitter!

listen to the episode