I’m very happy to announce that my book Sacred Texts: Finding Faith Among the Dying is now available on Amazon as a Kindle ebook! If you prefer pixels to paper or just want to save some money, download it today!

Thank you to all those who’ve told me that the book has helped and inspired them. It means a lot to me and I’m so grateful for your support.

Last year, I thought I needed a spiritual director. It turns out I needed music lessons.

About 6 months ago I was at a bit of a crisis point. Work was really getting to me and I was very concerned about burnout. I polished my resume, looked at the possibility of changing careers, and got a counselor to help me discern what to do in the middle of what seemed to be a gigantic mess. I thought maybe I needed a spiritual director as well, seeing that this was weighing on me spiritually.

Just before that all began, I also decided to do something I had thought about doing for a while: learning guitar. I had played tenor saxophone for many years, starting in elementary school and playing consistently all through high school and college. It was something I enjoyed tremendously, allowing me to socialize with my fellow “band geeks” while being creative and expressive. After college my sax sat in its case for a long time – it’s really hard to just play sax by yourself it turns out – until I eventually sold it. While I was sad to see it go, I also couldn’t see the use of keeping it when my kids weren’t interested in it.

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My book, entitled (for now) “Sacred Texts: Finding faith among the dying”, is nearing completion! The manuscript is finished save for a few minor edits and additions. After that I’m going to enlist the help of a typesetter and graphic designer to get it ready for final publication. I’ll likely publish it directly through Amazon, as that seems to be what most people are doing now anyway.

It’s been a very long road, and more difficult than I expected. But I’m hopeful that people will find it meaningful and useful. More information will be coming soon.

As I was preparing a message for an upcoming series of memorial services coinciding with All Saints and All Souls Days, I decided to look at the lectionary to see what the assigned passages for those days to help me get started. I don’t come from a liturgical tradition, and am a bit more familiar with the practice of having a theme in mind and then finding a passage or passages that fit that theme. Not the best practice, I know, which is why I diverted from it in this case.

I was a little surprised when the Beatitudes came up as the reading for the day, even though I shouldn’t have been. After all, the passage specifically calls to those who mourn, calling them “blessed”.

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I thought I’d offer a bite of what I’m working on in my upcoming book, which is tentatively titled “Sacred Texts: Stories of Living With the Dying”. This is still very much a work in progress, but at least progress is being made. I welcome your comments!

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528Hz

“You know that the universe vibrates at 528 Hertz, right?”

This was part of the first conversation I had with Neil, who had just come on hospice and was living at home with his mother. It was my initial visit with him, and it was already off to an interesting start. When I arrived at the time we had set up, he wasn’t available. The neighbors who were sitting outside his apartment building in Pittsburgh’s South Hills said that he had just gone out to the local Rite-Aid with his girlfriend. I waited on the patio until he arrived.

Neil right off the bat struck me as an interesting guy when he arrived. He was in his mid-50’s, and his long white hair, thin build, pale Hawaiian shirt and straw fedora made him look like a wandering beachcomber. He carried a portable oxygen concentrator, the only visible indicator of his end-stage lung cancer. “Hey man! Sorry I’m late. I had to go get my meds and some toothpaste.” He introduced me to his friends and then escorted me inside, chatting the whole time.

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After months of working with others to try and halt or at least slow down CPSP’s descent over the past year, I’ve decided to hang it up. The organization is hemorrhaging members, and I’ve talked to many who aren’t renewing their membership after this year, which is what I’m doing. I’ve stepped down from my leadership roles and have gone from trying to steer the Titanic away from the iceberg to getting people to lifeboats.

Rather than rehash a bunch of stuff, I’m going to simply include the text of my resignation letter which I sent to Raymond Lawrence and the Governing Council of CPSP this past weekend, July 20, 2023.

To The Executive Chapter and Governing Council of CPSP,

Colleagues,

I have been a member of the College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy for several years. Since initially joining, I have served as a member, a Chapter Convener, an alternate Representative for Region 2, and served as Co-Convener for the Chapter of Chapters alongside Rita Bakr. I have been a certified Clinical Chaplain and Pastoral Counselor since 2016. I have seen and experienced amazing growth personally and professionally, and have come to treasure and appreciate my fellow chapter members who have shepherded me through so much, as well as the tireless leaders I’ve worked alongside in the Chapter of Chapters and Chapter of Diplomates.

However, I feel I must now vacate my position and resign from CPSP. This has not been a hasty decision and has been made through consultation with my chapter and other members of CPSP. My reason for this is that CPSP is no longer a viable, healthy and functioning organization. Therefore, I will be vacating my position effective July 23, 2023 and will not be renewing my membership any further.

Problems within CPSP have always been present, as they are with any major organization. However significant issues were raised in 2022 regarding the behavior of Raymond Lawrence towards members of the community. Two very important members of the organization resigned in November of 2022 because these issues were not addressed. Since that time, efforts by members of the Chapter of Chapters and the Chapter of Diplomates as well as key committee members to address these issues and others, specifically whether the current General Secretary should continue in his position, have been intentionally sidelined by members of the Executive Chapter and Raymond Lawrence. This avoidance of responsibility and accountability continues to this day. Yet this is not the only reason why I believe CPSP is not a functioning organization.

There has been no actual vote regarding current roles as set out clearly in the CPSP By-Laws (i.e., Article V, Section 5.02). The fact that the General Secretary has in effect ignored what the currently ratified and approved By-Laws state in favor of an autocratic style of governance is a significant concern and sign of dysfunction at the highest levels. Efforts to follow the By-Laws at Governing Council meetings in order to approve leaders have been subverted on multiple occasions.

CPSP’s financial standing and current balances are speculative at best. The issue of CPSP’s financial standing was raised in a March 5^th, 2023 town hall, and it has not sufficiently been addressed as of this date. Members of the Governing Council are uncertain about our finances, how much we have and where those funds are. Meanwhile, requests from Raymond Lawrence for members to pay dues have continued, in spite of folks being unable to find out how to do so or if they are paid up in a timely manner.

The current web site is still barely useable. It is impossible to find other members’ contact information, and what information is available is at times outdated or incorrect. This poses a major problem not only for our leaders and members to be in touch with one another, but to those on the outside looking for chapter information. It also has hindered the work of the Chapter Certification committee and CPSP’s own communications efforts. To have a non-functioning, out-of-date and inaccurate web site tells the world that you are not to be taken seriously. Members have reached out to Raymond Lawrence offering to fix the site, but the problems remain. Current efforts to solve the web site problem by the Executive Chapter come too little and far too late.

The current Communications Chair has not had access to the means of communication through CPSP’s email services. As a result, she has not been able to pass along important information to the CPSP body in a timely manner. Emails to the CPSP body have had to go through alternate channels such as personal email lists, other than those coming directly from Raymond Lawrence.

The General Secretary has not implemented recommendations from committees, including the Succession Committee and By-Laws committee. This has caused confusion regarding roles and authority in critical situations, including who is even on these committees, and has led to stagnation and lack of direction.

There has been a significant lack of accountability and transparency on the part of the General Secretary to the overall body of CPSP. There have been months of listening sessions, letters demanding accountability and the raising of significant concerns regarding the viability of CPSP in the future. All of these have been met with no accountability and no real action.

This organizational breakdown, as well as current and former actions of the General Secretary, have significantly impeded the work of CPSP among other professional groups. It is becoming a second-rate body when compared to newer groups such as SCA and CPEI. Many members have left CPSP entirely, or have detached from the larger body while remaining with their chapter. Others have sought dual credentialing in an effort to ensure that they can maintain certification and, in some cases, their jobs.

To summarize, the College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy is not able to follow its own system of governance, the By-Laws, and its spiritual foundational document, the Covenant. It is not a healthy, functioning organization. I can no longer recommend membership or certification within CPSP to members of my community and to those looking at professional training and certification as long as the status quo remains the status quo.

The College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy runs on the blood, sweat and tears of its volunteer leaders. I have come to know many during my time in CPSP, and their commitment to this organization and to its members is beyond anything that I have seen in other organizations. Over the past several months we have spent valuable time over weekends and evenings to try and right the ship and bail the water out as fast we can. I commend all of them in their ongoing efforts to make CPSP a healthy and relevant organization. They have tried to foster accountability and address the many needs that have been brought up by its members around the country and around the world. Unfortunately, the failures of a few at our highest levels of leadership have hindered any resolution to these concerns. Right now, for my own emotional and spiritual health, CPSP is not an organization I can continue to be a part of. I’m deeply saddened in that others must now shoulder what had been my responsibilities, and I ask for their forgiveness.

Sincerely,

Samuel Blair